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  • Sharon Dorival

Sedated


I've fallen Knocked senseless Uncertain Clueless All that is equated to SEDATION. I yearn to learn To look at your entire physique. Savour all of your mentally.

My desire is to explore depths Even you have forgotten.

Let me love you. Let me kiss you. Allow me to hold you. I'll make you always remember Lips of Fire.

Come again... You won't be surprised But merely jaded.

Hooray to SEDATION I am accustomed There's no questions to be asked For we both know That we art this way together. I am alive On my knees Sliding along Poetry is my escape. The same as ever They say the deadliest killer Is sadness. The ultimate soul killer.

Dear friend, Give me the medicine of poetry Untangle the unsettled feuds All coiled up in my cerebrum. I beg you Arnold Toulon spread the sedative of poetry. I am high. I am high. Oh I feel like I'm on cloud nine. Let's get higher Noxi Waldron. Come. Run away with me. Jump in Get a taste of sweet escapism. Don't stay stucked Imprisoned in the past.

Don't lock me up in a cell of unforgiving memories And all the stains I tried to hide. I alone can't scrub it away. I just want it all to end.

This fuckery Winding roads of endless strife and boiling hatred.

I am so pissed off. And I just don't give a fock about the things I used to care about.

I am tired of caring And being awakened by hostility Always being sedated with "It'll be alright"

No! It won't be alright. Fock you! It won't be alright. I'm not going to pretend that the little things don't matter Because to me they really do.

There's nothing left So I sit my ass at home While I pour myself a glass.

I write and I write. No time to sit around thinking.

There's a glass of satisfying Sedation that I cannot seem to hold.

I look at you. You play love like a game. You made a new one for yourself But you are not what you pretend to be. You are shallow and systematically sedated. You are nothing more that a puppet With all those guidelines to which you adhere.

Cut the focking strings! You little marionette. There is beauty in other things Besides your pretentious bullshit.

Let me sleep Let me sleep. Let me close my eyes Let me sleep.

I simply don't know How to react or if I should at all.

I have been sedated for years Since the moment they broke my trust.

I have been living with no feelings. I do not want to go back into my memory bank, But I am afraid they are coming back.

So now I have a bottle full of liquor And a bottle full of pills A bottle full of relief And a bottle full of death.

You enslave me.

But I am humbled to be entangled to the stabs of your tongue And the grip of your hands.

Once I danced with a sedated lover Rolling in every kiss.

I am sapped. They all say I am maladjusted. Blood Suckers!

Fock! I demand to be anaesthized.

I am listening to her playing. Yes she plays for me. Her piano plays a melody So bitter-sweet But it's for me. And each key is a note I wrote to a lover a long long time ago.

My bed became a lover in whom I sought to rest A Journey made between the sheets A place they cannot touch. It's fun to think of the universe And how she works undiscovered.

I'm often out with nature listening Listening to the rustling of leaves With the grass kissing my feet.

I hear the trees whispering "Oh gosh! She is gorgeous!" I see the beauty in everything But Loose Lips Sink Ships We feel better for it upon sharing. We find a sense of belonging Forming a stronger bond Than human suffering.

There's a thin line between dreams and reality.

I am entangled in mindless indulgences Seduced by the devil himself. Terrified of people's thoughts And most abhorrent lies.

Afraid to admit weaknesses Doesn't know what to do. I need something/ someone to numb all my pain.

I am glad that I chose you. I am glad to be sedated by a religion which chose me. ©Sharon Dorival 2016

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